Quick Answer
Behavior points aren't bad on their own. Earning points for clear jobs can help, and classroom studies found real gains. Taking points away is the risky part. At home it can drain a balance to zero, and a child with nothing left to win may stop trying. Earn-only points are the safer default.
What's the Difference Between Behavior Points and Demerits?
Behavior points are added when a child does something you asked for, and demerits take points away when they misbehave.
Behavior points: a child makes their bed or finishes homework, gets a point, and trades points for something they want. Sticker charts, marble jars, and chore apps all work this way.
Demerits: points come off for things like hitting, talking back, or lying. Psychologists call this "response cost," which just means a behavior costs the child something they already had.
Worries about points come down to two separate questions. First, do rewards make kids care less about the task itself? Second, does taking points away help or backfire? The research answers them differently.
Do Points Make Kids Care Less About the Task?
Points can lower a child's interest in things they already enjoy. For dull tasks, the studies found little or no harm. Researchers have argued about how big the risk is since the 1970s. (For the classic studies behind it, see do reward charts work?)
- The case for caution. A 1999 review by Deci, Koestner, and Ryan pooled 128 experiments. Expected, tangible rewards lowered how often people chose to keep doing an activity on their own once the reward stopped. Tangible rewards tended to do more harm for children than for college students. Positive feedback did the opposite and raised interest, though the boost was weaker for children than for college students.
- The case for rewards. Cameron, Banko, and Pierce (2001) ran their own analysis and concluded rewards are "not harmful" in general. Rewards for low-interest tasks actually raised later interest. The harm showed up on tasks people already enjoyed, when the reward was tangible, promised in advance, and loosely tied to how well they did.
- A third voice. Stanford's Mark Lepper led the 1973 drawing study on rewards and preschoolers. In a comment published alongside the 1999 review, he and his colleagues sided with Deci's reading over Cameron and Pierce's earlier 1994 review. They also warned against boiling down such a mixed set of studies into one simple answer.
Both sides found praise carries little of the risk. Both found the clearest risk is a prize, promised in advance, for something a kid already enjoys. If your kid doesn't unload the dishwasher for fun, there's little interest there for a reward to lower.
So use points for the dull, necessary jobs, like chores, getting ready, and homework. Don't use them for drawing, reading for fun, or anything your kid already does on their own. And always say what you noticed: "You put every shoe on the rack without being asked."
Does Taking Points Away Work?
Taking points away can work inside a tightly run program, but it's hard to get right at home.
One well-studied example of taking points away comes from an intensive program for children with ADHD. The Summer Treatment Program runs a point system where kids earn points and lose them for breaking rules. A 2014 review counted 38 studies of the program or its parts, including 15 randomized trials. But that system sits inside a lot of structure. Trained staff add lots of praise, a daily report card, clear rules, and time-outs, and parents get training to match it at home.
Classroom research raises a question about whether the "take away" part adds much. A 2016 review in School Psychology Review combined 28 small studies of classroom point systems (90 students in all) and found clear improvements on average. Adding point deductions made no difference to how well the systems worked.
At home, the math can go wrong fast. Once a child's balance hits zero, or they've lost more than they can win back today, there's nothing left to try for. With siblings, it gets worse. A deduction in front of a brother or sister can feel like being shamed in public. The AAP's sibling rivalry page (2025) says: "Do not embarrass your child by scolding him in front of the others." The AAP's 2018 policy on discipline says yelling at or shaming children is "minimally effective in the short-term and not effective in the long-term."
Here are the pros and cons of each points approach at home:
| Approach | What it does well | Where it breaks at home |
|---|---|---|
| Earn-only points for clear jobs | Builds routines; easy to stay positive | Rewards too big or too slow to arrive |
| Earn + lose points, in a structured program | Good results as part of intensive ADHD programs | Needs trained staff, daily consistency and parent training that are hard to match at home |
| Deductions at home without structure | Quick to use in the moment | Balances can hit zero, and a kid with nothing left to win may stop trying |
| Deductions in front of siblings | None worth the cost | Can feel like being shamed in front of a sibling |
| Logical consequences, kept outside the points | Kids can see why it happened | Harder to think of in the heat of the moment |
What Age Are Behavior Points Right For?
Behavior points can work from about age 3, with simpler systems for younger kids. In the 2016 classroom review, point systems worked a little better for kids 6 to 15 than for kids 3 to 5.
| Age | What works | Watch out for |
|---|---|---|
| 3–5 | One or two jobs, a sticker or coin right away, a small reward the same day | Waiting days for a payoff; lists they can't read |
| 6–9 | A short list per kid, points toward a goal they chose | Siblings on the same list; rewards that take weeks |
| 10–12 | Kids help set what jobs are worth and what they're saving for | Using points for things they already do on their own |
What Should You Do Instead of Demerits?
Instead of demerits, keep points for jobs done and handle misbehavior with a consequence that fits what happened. Five ways to do that:
- Keep points for jobs done, and handle misbehavior separately. Hitting a sibling and skipping the dishes are different problems. Don't solve both with one number.
- Use a consequence that fits what happened. The AAP's parent site gives this example of a consequence: if toys don't get picked up, you put them away for the rest of the day. Misused the tablet? It sits out tonight. The link between what happened and what follows is easy for a kid to see.
- Talk after everyone is calm. Ask "What happened? What was hard about that?" once the meltdown is over, not in the middle of it.
- Pay only for work that got done. Check the chore before you pay. If it isn't done, it just doesn't earn. The points they already have stay put.
- Set each kid's jobs to their age. A 9-year-old and a 5-year-old shouldn't earn points on the same list. When one kid keeps failing, check whether the job is too big. Break "clean your room" into "books on the shelf, clothes in the hamper."
For more on why simple charts fall apart, see why chore charts stop working after a few weeks.
How Does KudoKids Handle Earning and Mistakes?
When we designed KudoKids (kudokids.org), we made earning the default. Kids earn Kudo Coins for chores, routines, and activities like reading time, and each kid has their own tasks. Nothing is docked automatically, and the demerit buttons are off unless a parent turns them on. If a parent marks an approved task incomplete, the child sees "Try again" next to it, and only the coins for that one task come off. Nothing else they earned is touched, and no penalty is added. A parent can still adjust a balance by hand. Once a parent turns the demerit buttons on, they stay locked for a two-week earn-only period by default. We chose that because a system a kid trusts has to feel winnable first.
If a child is quick to quit rather than to misbehave, see how to help a child who gives up easily.
Frequently Asked Questions
Should I take away screen time for unrelated misbehavior?
It teaches less than a consequence tied to what happened. If the problem was about the screen, like sneaking the tablet after bedtime, losing it tonight is fair and connected. For a sibling fight or a skipped chore, pick a consequence that fits that instead. We cover more ways to handle this in how to reduce screen time without a fight.
Are demerits OK for kids with ADHD?
Point systems that include deductions are part of well-studied ADHD programs, but they come with training, structure, and a lot of praise. If your child has ADHD, ask their clinician whether deductions belong in your home plan before adding them. If you're not working with anyone, an earn-only system is the safer start.
My child said a chore was done when it wasn't. What now?
Send it back, and don't pay until it's done. Skip the extra penalty. In a 2015 McGill University study of 372 children ages 4 to 8, kids told the truth more often when an adult said they'd be happy to hear it. So thank a child who owns up, and make the next try easy to start.
My child's points are already at zero. How do we start over?
Start fresh without a speech. Pick one small job they can finish today, pay it right away, and let them see the balance move. From then on, handle misbehavior with a consequence that fits what happened and leave the points alone.
Do behavior charts at school cause the same problems?
They can. A chart everyone can see puts one kid's bad day on display. If your child comes home upset about their color or clip, talk about the one thing that happened, not the chart. Keep your home system private and focused on what they earned.
Last updated: September 24, 2026
Note: References to ADHD are informational only. If you suspect your child has ADHD, consult a qualified healthcare professional.
This article is for informational purposes only and does not constitute professional medical, psychological, or educational advice.
